It’s been five weeks and one day since I removed all poisons from my body. Five weeks of living to the best of my ability: getting good sleep, exercising, and training my body and mind daily. Trusting the process and having the discipline to keep working.
And now?
I feel good, but I sense the absence of something or some things…
Sober from Sugar and Alcohol and Toxic plants
Perhaps I am beginning to see my life as it truly is.
I am taken back to a similar journey I took in 2021 at a similar time of year. The feelings and struggles of that time are so vivid in my heart and soul. I needed a change then. I had needed a push to, for the first time, renounce some particularly bad habits in my life, namely overindulging in alcohol and sugar.
I couldn’t change, but I knew I had to
Quitting was as easy as me moving a heavy train forward one inch. It was impossible.
Instead, I changed one thing. I remember telling myself, “Change one thing and forgive yourself for the rest.” Don’t try and quit drinking. Don’t attempt to change the impossible.
Instead, I decided to follow the Carnivore diet. Eating steak and eggs was something I could commit to. So I did. Starting on January 1, 2021, I ate only animal products and reduced all carbohydrate consumption to below 50 grams per day.
I look back on those months fondly. I stayed on the Carnivore diet for three months and without trying, stopped drinking except for a celebratory drink at the end of each month.
And now, I’m back where I started three years ago
I feel what I felt back then as I now regain my freedom and health. I also feel the ups and downs of the intervening years. As my mind and body heal, all of the scars and worries and failures since then are laid bare.
What happened? How could I have forgotten?
And so I sit here contemplating what I gained and lost, comparing then with now.
Thankfully, sober from harmful substances, I can contemplate. I can feel the loss. I can experience melancholy and understand that it stems from remembering one of the most profound and positive times in my life.
I feel good, but I sense the absence of something or some things…
Alcohol is absent. Sugar is absent. Pleasure is absent, or should I say indulgence. That numbing cloud that so comfortably imprisons one’s mind and consciousness is dissipating.
And what is left?
Clarity.
